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Navigating Relationships

From Where Does Your Help Come?

Finding the right person to seek advice from hasn’t always been my finest quality. I used to set the bar way too low.  I just wasn’t interested in the disappointment of knowing that those I considered close to me couldn’t really be my support system.  Instead, I overlooked what I should have paid closer attention to, which left me feeling spiritually isolated. 

I could talk to others about what was on the surface, but I felt uncomfortable in revealing my spiritual vulnerabilities.  I just hadn’t made that type of connection with most people.  I was too uncomfortable with what that level of honesty could mean and I had no interest in being judged for my relationship with Christ.  I will still trying to find my way.

Such thinking made me a hypocrite.  I refused to open up in the way that I consistently demanded from others. There were people I struggled to help because I couldn’t overcome my own shortcomings.  Sometimes we don’t seek help because we don’t want people to know something is wrong.  Other times, we don’t know where to turn because we‘ve failed to realize that our friends aren’t necessarily our counsel, and our counsel doesn’t necessarily need to be our friends.

I think of the trouble I could have saved myself, if only I had just asked for help from the right places.  Proverbs 5:22 reminds us that “without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established” (NKJV). I wasn’t going to the right places, and I was paying the price for those choices.

Choosing Counsel Wisely

I now know we owe it to ourselves to choose people who loves us enough, in the most Christian sense of the verb, to provide sound wisdom, serving as a divinely inspired support system.  If I want to be measured against God’s standards, I need to find people that can remind me of His love and mercy when it seems I have forgotten. People who know life’s struggles are real…they have overcome the difficulties and are able to inspire me when I feel like I’m on the verge of breaking. We can learn from anyone but in moments of trials, I want to make sure I can turn to people that can help me survive chaos with grace so I can learn the lessons God has left for me to discover.

Every friend is not meant to understand our journeys, and that’s okay. Our friends and our counsel may not serve the same purpose. Nonetheless, “He who walks with wise men will be wise.  But the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20) Seek advice from those who have characteristics you wish to emulate. Surround yourself with positivity.

The Reflection of God’s Love

I’m thankful to now have people in my life that understand those Job moments. Our path to what is right is filled with obstacles.  The more I grow spiritually, the more I realize that I need people in my life who are dedicated to supporting that growth.  I don’t just need someone to throw me a lifeline; I need to be questioned about my current decisions so that I have a higher chance of not returning to past mistakes. Our support systems should reflect God’s love and His will. Never forget that God’s spirit will shine through in whom He abides.  I just want to make sure I’m focused enough to recognize it. We all could use some help; we just need to make sure it’s coming from the right place.

Thank you for reading. Please leave your thoughts below!

Love’s an action
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