Allowing Your Life to Break Apart

Have you ever been told to not give up? I have, and sometimes that is sound advice. Perseverance, determination, and resilience are all characteristics that we need to thrive in this world. God asks us to balance these traits with patience and forgiveness. We are to be kind to one another, and longsuffering. Given this vantage point, it should come as no surprise that when life starts to break apart, we often do everything we can to keep it all together.

Yet God does not operate in a vacuum. Patience and longsuffering are only a part of the picture when it comes to what Christ aspires for us to be. He also wants to fill us with wisdom and discernment so that we make the best choices possible. In James 1:5-6, we read:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

So, what should we do when life falls apart? Do we keep fighting or do we walk away? Are we longsuffering or do we change our situations? Is this a test from God or is this caused by the brokenness already in this world?  

Sometimes, we need to allow life to break.

Who said it wouldn’t? Sometimes, God breaks things. He allows us to see situations for exactly what they are so that we are in the best position possible to make decisions. He gives a sneak peek behind the curtain to see the truth of peoples’ characters and intentions. He doesn’t want us to fall victim to the sins of this world, and so He tries to show us false prophets, false intentions, and false ideology.

Other times, though God may not be the source of the breaking, He doesn’t necessarily stop it either. He wants us to recognize that maybe where we are or who we are isn’t where we need to be. We also have to recognize that we won’t always understand why God doesn’t intervene. His ways are not our ways, and as frustrating as it may be, there is still so much good can come from a place of discomfort. How so?

Because Breaking can lead to healing.

• It is in the breaking that we leave relationships where we aren’t meant to stay. We find careers that speak to our dreams and accept jobs that allow us to live in peace. We learn to love ourselves and stand up for what’s important to us. We recognize the traits within ourselves that need to change, and we work towards correcting them.  Breaking is painful, but we have the choice to give it the space to be beautiful.
• When we accept the brokenness, that does not mean that we have given up.  Instead, we recognize that there are choices that need to be made. Those choices can allow for peace and even for healing, or those choices can foster negative emotions and unproductive actions. No matter the situation, what we do next is our own decision. Don’t let anyone else convince you that it’s time to stay or go, to fight or to concede, or to take blame when there is not to be found.

Even Job, facing trials and tribulations, understood the assignment when he said, “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10) It is in our periods of brokenness that we still have a chance to choose God and accept the gift of discernment. No matter how dark, God will always have enough light to guide us through the most treacherous of storms. It’s important, however, that we accept the breaking. That doesn’t mean everything must remain broken; it just means that the possibilities for healing may look different than what we originally intended.

Be mindful that everyone’s experience will be different.

When our careers, relationships, friendships, life plans, and families are breaking apart, the emotions are overwhelming. As we seek to find relief or comfort others, we have to remember the uniqueness in our journeys. Where God may want you to stay, He may want someone else to leave. Great advice can come from so many places, but the best clarity will always come from God.

Jeremiah 29:13 reminds us that we will seek God and find Him, when we search for Him with all of our hearts. It is in our genuine search, that we will recognize His Spirit in the midst of the brokenness. God will guide us to a place of healing and show us who to trust along the way. So let life break. Allow the pieces to fall apart. Don’t run away from the disappointment, the struggles, and the pain. Accept that they exist, and then accept that God can change them. Life may not always work out the way we want it to, but with God, life can still be great.